


Promises made. Promises kept?

by spacewritermonkey



Series: Promises [1]
Category: Warrior Nun (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Warrior Nun AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:20:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26497033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacewritermonkey/pseuds/spacewritermonkey
Summary: And this is why the Halo Bearer often sticks to a specific group as much as possible. The Halo Bearer is their champion and a resource to be kept safe at the same time. It's a balance between being a weapon and being a treasure that cannot be compromised.
Relationships: Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva
Series: Promises [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1939264
Comments: 21
Kudos: 205





	Promises made. Promises kept?

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by TheEffinMitchell's fic "for all of the times i never could (i'll be good)." If you haven't read that...damn. You really should.

> _“That’s what you’re afraid of. Paralysis.”_
> 
> _“That’s not what scares me. What scares me is being alone. Abandoned in some sick bed with no one to…with no one.”_

Ava likes the idea of being out with the other nuns. They don't know her so they often leave her be. _Keep things professional_. She doesn't have to get close to them. They don't have to get close to her. The lines are drawn, and Ava thinks it's the best course of action for everyone. No longer will she be a burden to her fellow sister warriors. She will keep her promise to be the last Warrior Nun. And no one will have to die in her stead. _She_ won’t ever have to die in her stead.

Except sometimes, when Ava has this nice pun on the tip of her tongue, it takes a beat for things to sink in that things are different now. These new people won't get it. And they don't.

They don't understand how Ava works.

They also don't work in a cohesive manner like her old team.

And this is why the Halo Bearer often sticks to a specific group most of the time. The Halo Bearer is their champion and a resource to be kept safe at the same time. It's a balance between being a weapon and being a treasure that cannot be compromised.

But compromised it did get.

* * *

Beatrice is woken by the sound of running footsteps outside her room. She is just about to change and get ready for bed, but she wants to know what the clamor is all about. Just as she's about to place her wimple back on, furious pounding on her door causes her to drop the cloth.

In the same second the panic in the voice of her visitor sets in, so does the memory that Ava hasn't returned from her mission that morning.

Not yet. Not _yet_ , her mind supplies.

Immediately, Beatrice opens her door, takes one look at the pale expression on Camila's face, and feels her knees go weak. Only a hand tightly gripping the door frame keeps her standing.

"Ava," Beatrice croaks her Warrior Nun's name.

Camila nods and without another word, they are running down the hall, Beatrice barely allowing Camila time to lead her to the proper direction.

They end up in the infirmary and there is a lot of shouting going on.

Beatrice barely registers Mary and Lilith's presence and had she bothered to take a look, she would have seen Mary trying to pull Lilith away from a fellow nun lying on the ground. But Beatrice's attention is solely on the bed surrounded by a couple of medical staff. From the brief glimpses she gets each time someone moves around, she can see it's Ava.

Ava who is lying motionless.

Eyes closed.

Blood all over her torso.

Hints of blue glowing and emanating enough brilliance to make itself known despite the harsh fluorescent lighting.

Divinium.

And suddenly it seems eerily similar to the last time they lost their halo bearer. Too similar.

Beatrice barely notices her hand has reached up to clench the cloth over her chest, trying to grasp something far out of her reach, like the Halo Bearer whom she was supposed to protect. Give up her life if need be. Yet, here they are and Ava seemingly miles away.

"Bea?" A worried voice beside her asks. "Are your ribs troubling you again? Maybe you should sit down somewhere—"

But Beatrice rasps a fierce "No!"

It's not her ribs that hurt.

It's her heart.

She sees one of the doctors shaking their head and something causes Beatrice to feel like she can't breathe. They can't be giving up.

Beatrice shifts her eyes onto Ava's chest.

Any movement at all... Please.

But there seems to be nothing.

Beatrice takes a step forward, but someone pulls her back.

Beatrice whirls around in anger to confront them but stops when she notices it's Mary. "They're doing what they can, Beatrice."

Beatrice shakes her head. "No. No they're not. They're ready to give up, Mary!"

Lilith approaches with a grim look on her face. She may not know how to offer the right words, but she knows how to offer retribution.

"They said Ava ran off on her own. Idiots let her out of their sight. No cover, no back up."

Camila frowns, "That's...that’s not like _our_ Ava."

Mary softly speaks "She hasn't exactly been ours for some time now."

Lilith growls "Yes, well. That's what she gets by picking losers over us." She sends a sharp look towards the group lingering by the door, emphasizing the word "losers" at the same time.

Said group have a firm grasp on one of their members who appears to be unconscious, trying to haul said member to their feet on their way out. Camila's unspoken question directed at Lilith prompted a response and a shrug. "Her face got in the way."

Mary would have admonished Lilith for joking at such a time but the sudden sharp cry of "NO!" grabs their focus.

It didn't take a genius to find out what was wrong when they saw the cause of Beatrice's horrified yell.

It was the instrument used to take out the Halo from a bearer.

This time, no one stops Beatrice from rushing forward.

In fact, they were right on her heels.

Unconsciously, Mary finds her hand on the butt of one of her guns she likes to keep on her person constantly. Lilith decides now might be the time to grow her nails. And Camila—Camila likes to keep a dagger close by just as well. Beatrice taught her that.

"What are you doing?" Beatrice voice is firm and cold as she demands an answer: even if deep down her heart is beating erratically and her mind already running through options on how to save Ava.

"Sister Beatrice." One of the nurses is a nun who slightly bows her head in apology and deference, knowing that these are the Halo bearer's friends. "We have done everything we could."

“No, you haven't! You haven't even taken out all of the divinium that IS. RIGHT. THERE!"

This may very well be one or the few times Beatrice has raised her voice. Which makes it easier for everyone listening to understand that they should pay attention.

"If you take out the divinium, the halo could heal her. She's done it before. The Halo's done it before!" Camila insists from somewhere behind Beatrice.

"Yeah. Ava can't die. The other side will toss her right back here. So, give it time." Lilith offers.

The doctor who has remained silent for some time, stares at them unblinkingly.

"Ava has sustained various serious injuries. Injuries inflicted by divinium—which, as far as we know, is the Halo Bearer's sole weakness."

Something in his tone brokered no argument as he motioned with a hand towards Ava's body.

Ava's body that Beatrice isn't quite ready to look at.

"In all my years with the order, do you know how many warrior nuns I've had to try and patch up? Trying to help them heal. Help them heal something that the Halo can NOT."

He continues on despite the pain he sees all over their faces. The least he can do is give them the truth. He can't give them their friend back, but he can give them honesty.

"You've all seen the scars. It's a testament to how divinium hurts the Warrior Nun. I don't even want to know if it may actually hurt them more than any other non-divinium-related injury. But you know what I mean. When it comes to injuries obtained from everything BUT divinium, Warrior Nuns heal with _no evidence_ whatsoever to even leave a hint that they had ever been hurt to begin with. Yet, with divinium, they do. You’ve seen their scars."

He looks at the broken body before them. And finally, against her better instinct, Beatrice looks and ends up on her knees, arms on the bed, unmindful of the blood-soaked sheets.

The doctor drones on, but Beatrice can no longer hear him.

"The divinium basically acted like shrapnel. Some pierced her liver and another her left lung. It collapsed on the way here and they tried to intubate her."

Beatrice doesn't even want to hear anymore but a part of her can't help but feel like she owes Ava this pain. The pain of knowing in exchange for breaking her promise that Ava will never be alone.

When Ava pulled away, she should have insisted and persisted.

She should have tried to reach out to her harder.

She should have done something more than just letting her go!

"Frankly speaking, with what we know about divinium-inflicted injuries, I actually have my doubts about Ava wanting to survive."

It's these last words that cause him to find himself at the end of barrel of a shotgun, a hand with extremely sharp nails around his throat, and one dagger with its tip above his eye.

Beatrice has not left Ava's side and is glad that at least her sisters are there to do what she cannot at that moment.

"I don't mean disrespect! Please!" The doctor’s voice is fraught with panic but his eyes resolute in that this is his job. No matter how unpleasant it may be.

They barely notice that the infirmary has been vacated.

_No one wants to see whatever happens next. The reality for them is painful but inevitable. They will have to go over who would receive the Halo next._

Mary jabs her gun against the doctor's chest. "Ava is not a quitter. She's a lot of things like an annoying brat and a shithead, but she's not a quitter. And she won't take her life."

"I just meant about her injuries!" The doctor all but wails.

Camila's brief intrigued look tells him to continue.

"Some of Ava's injuries are located in her back. Specifically, somewhere between her C1 and C4."

The look of even greater confusion on the three women's faces begs for him to expound.

But Beatrice beats him to it.

Her voice is low and pained. The look on her face even more so.

"How bad is the damage?"

"Bad. I haven't even taken out the smaller pieces. But the level of the shrapnel's entry suggests C3."

"Beatrice. What is he talking about?" It is Lilith who dares to ask the question.

Beatrice begins to sob, leaving the sisters immobilized at the sight.

To be honest, they have never seen her sob. Perhaps shiny eyes, tears threatening to fall, and a hurt look: that was often the extent to which Beatrice allowed herself to show her pain in public.

But this. It wasn't even the loud or gasping sobs. This hurt more.

This was the quiet sob of someone who had given up.

Beatrice takes one of Ava's cold hands in hers, the other lifting to brush a lock of hair that has fallen over Ava's face, obscuring most of her features.

"Beatrice?"

It takes her awhile to reply, but when she does, her voice is broken. " Even if by some miracle Ava survives, at best she'll be paralysed. At worse, she won't even be able to breathe on her own ever again."

To say they are mortified would be an understatement.

This may very well be Ava's worst fears come to life.

If so, would it be fair to ask her to come back? To force the Halo to bring her back to a damaged body that it cannot completely heal?

They eventually let the doctor go and he hurries to leave. "I'll leave you folks alone."

It is unspoken but it's doubtful he will return. In the morning he will ask for a transfer. He has had enough of watching a number of women die. Especially one as young as Ava.

Beatrice’s hand is restless as it continues to caress Ava's smooth yet cold cheek. "I promised her she would never be alone again." Beatrice's voice is shaky.

"If you think you have fault in this, then so do we," Mary states.

Camila begins to cry, trying not to, but the tears and the hiccups are loud in the otherwise still and quiet room. Lilith places a hand on Camila's shoulder in an act of comfort, and the shorter girl turns into Lilith's arms to sob, trying to muffle the sound through Lilith's chest. Though unsure, Lilith draws her arms around Camila.

Beatrice speaks, trying not to let out the yell she feels threatening to overwhelm her. "I should have asked her what was wrong. She just...she just started drifting away. It's like...as if she no longer needed me." Beatrice trails off momentarily at the memory, but continues "But I should have fought harder. Fought for us." She brokenly whispers the last three words.

"We all should have done something, Beatrice. This isn't all on you. Something was up and we let Ava get away with it."

"If you want me to help you beat those girls up, I will. I will knock them down on their asses and then hunt the bastard who did this to Ava. But Bea...if we're letting her go...we have to let her go now."

And there lies the heart of the matter.

In the end it's no longer about Ava, and Beatrice knows this. _Uphold the mission above all else._

But her heart said otherwise. Beatrice musters what strength she has left to ask for privacy.

Mary nods and helps Lilith move Camila who seems inconsolable at that moment.

Finally, Beatrice is alone.

Truly alone, she thinks.

"For all these years that I have been surrounded by people, I always felt alone. Until you came along, Ava." Beatrice barely notices the blood from the sheets seeping onto her top. The amount of blood is staggering.

"I was supposed to be the one to draw you in. Teach you, help you, support you. And yet, you were the one who drew me in. You saw me. In all of your overwhelming ignorance, you saw me." Beatrice leans closer towards Ava, uncaring of the bloody mess she was becoming, leans her forehead against Ava as tears roll down her face.

"I was just about to love you, Ava" she whispers.

"I felt it. And I know you did. And I can't help but think of what we could have had. But I let you slip through my fingers. That's on me and no one can tell me otherwise." She tries to take a deep breath before continuing.

"I am _so_ sorry, Ava. Forgive me.” Beatrice begins to sob, each breath she took as if being pulled from every fiber of her being in the midst of her grief. “Forgive me because I don't know if I can."

Beatrice opens her eyes, unaware of having even closed them at one point.

"Thank you for everything. For seeing me. For wanting me. For being my friend. For being what I didn't know I wanted and needed. All of it. But most of all..." Beatrice leans in and brushes her lips across Ava's. "Thank you for showing me what I couldn't show you. I only wish...I could have had the chance to show you." Beatrice returns to lean her forehead back against Ava's. _So much. I could have showed you so much more_.

Before she pulls away, she caresses Ava's face with her hand one more time, "In the next life, Ava. In this life and the next, I know I won’t forget."

Beatrice starts to get up, and flinches when she sees the blood dripping from the bed. The more logical part of her recognizes that there is way too much blood and tries to rationalize with the currently more volatile side of Beatrice that it is simply evidence of how hopeless Ava's case is, regardless of the halo.

She will have to call back her sisters. Much as Beatrice would rather stay by Ava's bedside until they clean her up and put her in the crypt, she also wants to hunt down the girls who were supposed to be Ava's team.

And then she'll find the bastard who caused all of this mayhem.

In the back of her mind, Beatrice notes that all of these feel too familiar. Scarily so.

Losing Shannon hurt.

But not like this.

Beatrice thinks that she now understands what Mary had to go through. The pain of falling for a Warrior Nun and the pain of losing them all too soon.

Beatrice is about to draw the nearby blanket over Ava when the sound of something catches her attention. On instinct, Beatrice's hand reaches for one of her daggers that she always likes to keep on her person. Except there's no one there.

She's alone.

"Hello?" Beatrice calls out anyway. "Mary?" she asks.

No answer.

Again, some _thing_ hits the floor.

Beatrice tries to focus on the sound.

Beatrice tries to focus on the sound. It's not heavy. And it's...

The sound occurs once more. Somewhat..."lighter" this time, Beatrice notes.

And it's coming from Ava.

 _Ava's remains_ , her mind helpfully supplies.

Beatrice is part scared and part curious of what she'll find if she dares to come closer. But she does it anyway. She takes those last few steps forward.

It is in this moment she realizes something.

Ava's bleeding.

She's _still_ bleeding.

Beatrice gasps and leans forward to check.

Her hand is shaking as she reaches out to touch and feel Ava's hand. She doesn't want to think she's imagining things.

But before her hand can clasp Ava's, the same sound occurs.

Finally, Beatrice realizes where it's coming from.

It's from somewhere on Ava's other side, something falling on the floor.

Still afraid to even hope the slightest bit, Beatrice chooses to move on to Ava's other side and find out what was making the sound.

The moment she sees it, Beatrice is embarrassed to find herself fascinated.

Ava's arm was left outstretched, hand dangling and pointed towards the floor.

But where blood should be dripping thanks to the mangled left part of her torso, something blue fell instead.

Some appeared to be in liquid, but some appeared a little bit bigger—which was evidently the source of the sound as it echoes thinly throughout the room.

Against her better judgment, Beatrice decides to raise the blanket and face the harsh reality of Ava's injuries in order to see if her hope should tread any further.

To Beatrice's surprise and damning fascination, several pieces of divinium have pooled along her torso.

Beatrice cannot help but gasp, however, when the extent of Ava's injuries sink in.

Her left side is like an open mess of red and shiny blue. If Beatrice would categorize her injuries, she wouldn't even know where to start. Before her courage could fail her any further, Beatrice reaches for Ava's hand...to find it warm.

Beatrice collapses back onto her knees once more with a sob.

Just in time for Mary, Lilith, and Camila walk back in.

Camila's lower lip trembles and Mary hisses "Camila, please."

"But...she can't let her go, Mary."

Before Mary can throw another retort, Beatrice looks up at them, and all three are surprised to find her...laughing.

"Dear God, she's cracked," Mary whispers, horrified.

"She's alive." Beatrice says.

"She's cracked." Lilith affirms.

"No!" Beatrice scrambles back onto her feet and motions for them to come closer.

"It's...I don't know what it is, but look!"

The three finally move forward, and stop to stand beside Beatrice as she lifts the blanket once more to show them. The same look of horrified curiosity grace their faces, which slowly morphs to joy.

That is, until Camila asks, "Does this mean Ava will be completely healed then?"

The rest of reality comes crashing back down.

> _“It wouldn’t matter if you were a quadriplegic, festooned with boils, or a talking head in a bag. You would still have us. And we will_ never _leave you.”_
> 
> _“You mean that?”_
> 
> _“You know I do.”_

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone familiar with my other work, a certain line might be familiar. This story actually was conceived way before that one. This was originally born out of a live fic with some friends at discord (lovely distracting place, really).  
> Is this a one shot? Prolly. I mean, the next chapter I had in drafts didn't make things better for them just yet. I don't even know what I'm doing at this point. Also, this mess is all me. Forgive me.


End file.
